I encourage people to pray. I believe in the power of prayer because we cannot make it in this wicked world without God. But there are situations and problems we go through and daily we run to prayer contractors for solutions without recognizing the need for a change in our way of life. It is very sad we have succeeded in spiritualizing everything. Folks, there are things God can do for us, but there are also those we must handle ourselves because He has given us the ability to control things.
We keep wondering why people graduate with good grades and are not able to secure any good job that befits their qualification. I used to, like so many people conclude it’s all about girls selling out their bodies. But my thinking has changed in my course of relating with people and in my career as a public speaker.
So many good and hardworking ladies are all over the place feeling so sad and passing blames on people for their misfortune. Girl, you are your own enemy. You have concluded it is because of your social status and look. No woman on earth is ugly. We are all beautiful. It is left for you to enhance your beauty and make yourself attractive to people.
You have a job interview or a business meeting and you make no preparation for it. Your hair is not well taken care of. Your suit is not properly ironed. Some don’t even consider their body type before buying clothes. You dress anyhow; you walk anyhow. You don’t even know what voice management is. Haven’t you seen a lot of those very ugly women, as we call them, in positions of authority? Your number one enemy here is you.
You keep running from one prayer contractor to the other and spend the little you have making sacrifices to them as gods; some have even taken advantage of your vulnerable state to sleep with you. After all the prayers, you go for the interview and it is still the same old story. You can’t even face the interviewers. You made first class in school and so what? If you keep relying on that good grade and numerous educational qualifications, you will remain the way you are.
Stop blaming your ordeal on the whole witches in your village. Step up girl and make things happen in your life. They say I don’t fear anybody, yes, I like myself that way because it enables me say it the way I see it. You must have a very high self-esteem if you want to succeed in life.
Some of us cannot even look at the faces of people when we want to say hello. You have to train yourself to be able to relate with people you meet. People keep wondering how I get to meet the kinds of friends I have. There is no magic to it. If you have a very high self-esteem, if you present yourself a polished and civilized person with God’s favour, people will continually get attracted to you.
You may be saying it is because you tie your hair regularly. Wake up girl, there are so many people out there in management positions who cover their hair just like you do. The only difference is that theirs are neatly done unlike yours that come with foul smell. They still look sweet and presentable.
Let us look at the area of our relationships. I will start with the girl-girl relationship. Low self-esteem has led to a lot of evil in our relationship with other women. It is low self-esteem that can make you begin to plan evil against someone you call a friend. Women have destroyed other people’s homes because of low self-esteem that often times lead to jealousy.
I keep wondering what on earth will make a mature woman begin to envy another. When are the women going to grow up to start facing their own lives and minding their own business? Small minds discuss people while great minds discuss issues! That you find yourself a gossip is because you have very low self-esteem. You don’t talk about people who are under you; you only talk about that other woman because she is ahead of you.
Women have left friends who God brought into their lives to help them become better due to low self-esteem. You attend parties together and because she comes out best dressed, you see yourself avoiding her. You know that the other woman is more intelligent when it comes to handling certain issues, instead of you humbly learning from her, you take a walk. Well, you are the one losing. One reason women don’t always love one another is low self-esteem.
I marvel when I see women create time to go through their man’s phone. I don’t know why you do that, but I don’t think I want to die before my time. Men will always be men and the fact is that with the way women now hunt for precious souls to destroy, they will go after him even if he doesn’t. All you need to do is to make yourself a praying wife or girlfriend.
Why make yourself go through unnecessary emotional torture? It is low self-esteem that makes you want to know all the people your husband spoke with during the day. If you go on like this, get ready to die of cardiac arrest and high blood pressure.
Some women stoop as low as calling their husband’s girlfriend on phone and engaging in exchange of words. Remember that lady has nothing at stake. I have never in my life confronted any lady because of a man. I see it as bringing myself down to the level of the person. If you are one of such people, my advice is that you look for a job to get you busy. You are jobless and that is making you do certain things you shouldn’t be doing. Some shameless women go down to the level of fighting other women because of their husbands. You may think you are disgracing the lady, but in actual sense, you are destroying the reputation of your man.
I remember a family friend who got news about the husband’s affair with another lady. She went to his office to fight the lady. The husband was with his girlfriend when she entered and staged a fight. The man gave her the beating of her life. She lost her three months pregnancy with the beating. On getting home that evening, the man threw her out of the house and got married to his girlfriend. I keep telling people to be careful with their relationship so as not to lose that thing they cherish so much. People have lost what they so much cherish and tried so hard to protect all because they had no control over their emotions.
If you believe you are good enough to that man, you won’t bother yourself so much about his life. All you owe him is prayer. Some women don’t want to see their man laugh with another woman. What is your problem? Wait, it’s like I know what your problem is: you got that man through some crooked means! You played some games before settling down with him at last.
You took other people’s husbands away from them as a young girl; you visited some spiritual houses and burned the red candles with his pictures just to become his ‘Mrs.’ Now you are putting the man through hell because you have to go on fighting to keep him. I don’t blame you; sin begets sin.
Girl, you need to grow up. Work on your self-esteem and stop making life miserable for the poor man. You may have to change your friends before you can work on your self-esteem. Changing your friends has nothing to do with how rich or poor they are. So many rich ones still suffer from this terrible disease called low self-esteem. Start mixing up with people who discuss positively when you are in their company.
Low self-esteem is what pushed you into belonging to that particular group that is doing nothing to build your life the positive way. Women are all over the place looking for friends. Low self-esteem has made you believe you cannot exist without those friends who do nothing to help your life.
A lot of people are into relationships that are destroying their lives negatively. A lot of young girls are into relationships with men who have no regard for them. They treat you so badly even before marriage and you are afraid to take a walk out of that relationship. Your mind keeps telling you there is no good life for you without him. You have lost your individuality and now live under his shadow.
You can make it without anybody. Nobody is your God in this life. Believe strongly in yourself. Even if you have failed severally, it doesn’t matter. It is not in the number of times you failed; it is in your ability to bounce back after the failure. Never allow anybody treat you as a second-class citizen.
Are you a widow, divorcee, or you never got married? If you are not careful people will make you begin to see yourself as a total failure. The loss of a partner does not mean the end of your life. It is just the beginning of a new phase of life for you. All I tell young girls is to be sure their attitude is not contributing to their not being married. If you are sure of what stuff you are made of, then relax and live your life happily.
Stop feeling the world has come to an end because your husband is no more. Your schoolmates are all top executives in the banking and oil and gas sectors, so what? Whenever you wake up is your own morning. C’mon girl, let’s go!
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